I remember a time several years ago when my mother, sister and I really wanted to bless someone who had done us a wonderful service. We were excited to give them a gift, not a large gift but something simple just to say “thankyou”. But when it came to the actual part where we handed it over to that person, they in their own way gave the impression that they did not appreciate receiving a gift for what they had done. We came away feeling not very wonderful after having given this person the gift.
I often hear a lot about the need for giving and the need to give with a cheerful heart. But not so often I hear about the need to receive with gratitude what someone desires to give me.
Why is this?
I often feel the need to let the other person know that they “should not have given me this”. Is it because I am prideful and I unwittingly do not like to be placed so low as to need to receive a gift from someone? Is it simply that I am embarrassed that they want to give up their hard earned possessions and hand them over to me? Or is it that I do not want to be selfish by accepting a possession?
When it comes to giving, I need to remember that when I give someone something, I would like to see that they appreciate it and are thankful for it. I want to see that I can do something for them, that I can bless them; it gives me joy.
But what if someone wants to bless me? That means that if I would like someone to receive my gifts cheerfully and thankfully then I must likewise be thankful for whatever they give to me. I would then be doing to others as I would like them to do to me - as Jesus said, to “love your neighbour as your self”.
If Jesus really wants us to give then we also need to be willing to receive, otherwise no one could give because no one will receive.
From another angle, I really like a portion from C. S. Lewis’s book “The Screwtape letters”. It is a book about a senior demon coaching a younger demon how to torment his Christian patient. There are many interesting insights into how Satan can deceive us with our so-called “unselfish” actions. This analogy talks about how we as human beings can desire to compete as to who can be the most unselfish.
... the Generous Conflict Illusion. This game is best played with more than two players.... Something quite trivial, like having tea in the garden, is proposed. One member takes care to make it quite clear (though not in so many words) that he would rather not but is, of course, prepared to do so out of ‘Unselfishness’. The others instantly withdraw their proposal, ostensibly through their ‘Unselfishness’.... But he is not going to be done out of his debauch of ‘Unselfishness’ either. He insists on doing ‘what the others want’. They insist on doing what he wants. Passions are roused. Soon someone is saying ‘Very well then, I won’t have any tea at all!’, and a real quarrel ensues with bitter resentment on both sides. You see how it is done? If each side had been frankly contending for its own real wish, they would all have kept within the bounds of reason and courtesy; but just because the contention is reversed and each other is fighting the other side’s battle, all the bitterness which really flows from thwarted self-righteousness and obstinacy and the accumulated grudges of the last ten years is concealed from them by the nominal or official ‘Unselfishness’ of what they are doing or, at least, held to be excused by it.
Though this analogy is not exactly what I have been talking about, it still carries many truths about us, such as our desire to be the least selfish. Refusing to receive someone else’s gift simply because I want to be unselfish can actually end up being a selfish act in itself. I need to humble myself.
I do find it sad that there is often superficialness to how others and I often respond to people. I need to learn to let someone else have their chance to experience joy and freedom to be unselfish by giving or acting for me.
When it comes to giving, I need to remember that when I give someone something, I would like to see that they appreciate it and are thankful for it. I want to see that I can do something for them, that I can bless them; it gives me joy.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you give? Is it for a good feeling you get when they show excitement from getting the gift? or do you do it out of appreciation for the opportunity to give, regardless of the reaction?
One is selfish while the other is by the Love of God.
Also, keep in mind, there are those who feel very uneasy about receiving a gift of appreciation for doing the will of God. I am one of those. We immediately think about Matthew 6 concerning their reward on earth compare to heaven.
For all those serve anonymously, your brother in the Messiah,
Keith
Hey Keith!
ReplyDeleteWhy do you give? Is it for a good feeling you get when they show excitement from getting the gift? or do you do it out of appreciation for the opportunity to give, regardless of the reaction?
More the latter I would say. Giving anonymously is more fun since none of the thanks falls back on you (except for a desire to please God as well :D)
BUT, I would like to see people who receive the gift to be thankful even though they do not know who gave it.
Why give if no one can receive?
Jesus received the gift of washing his feet with expensive perfume and He was doing the will of God. However knowing Him, He would turn around and give so much more back to someone else, as He did on the cross.
(Note that it was probably for His burial and thus prophesy, I need to study that one up more)
You are right though Keith about storing up for ourselves treasures in heaven. However, We know from the rest of the Bible that treasures here on earth are also a blessing (Job for example) but yet can be a curse (As Jesus said many a time).
But I do not know where it says in the Bible that we should feel uneasy about receiving gifts while doing God's work? Except maybe where it talks about people doing it FOR money etc. But, however I know exactly how you feel! lol
Yet If someone needs help then someone giving to them is or could be God's answer to their need.
God bless bro!
Dan
Hey bro,
ReplyDelete"But I do not know where it says in the Bible that we should feel uneasy about receiving gifts while doing God's work?"
We are humans and naturally, we find into pride and resentment.
If we make it a habit to reward each other for doing G-d's work, then it becomes an expected thing. Therefore, what happens when you don't reward someone. It causes resentment and you have caused them to sin.
How about when you continually praise and reward someone and pride swells up inside of them. Once again, you have caused them to sin.
This is what Y'shua was ultimately talking about.
Greater are those who look for G-d's reward rather than the praise and reward from man. It will draw you closer to G-d.
Your Messianic Brother,
Keith
Hi Keith,
ReplyDeleteWe are humans and naturally, we find into pride and resentment.
True.
If we make it a habit to reward each other for doing G-d's work, then it becomes an expected thing. Therefore, what happens when you don't reward someone. It causes resentment and you have caused them to sin.
I am not suggesting to make it a habit. We are told to give freely and it does not warn me not to give freely because it may cause others to be prideful. I am just saying that people like myself should be more grateful for what people give to us rather than humiliate them by refusing it. For me it feels more like a humble act to lower myself to receive a gift from a brother. Especially if I need it.
I don't think people should be rewarded every time they do something for God but I think that if a gift comes their way then take it as from God and be thankful and grateful that He is so good and gracious as to bestow gifts upon us.
Your Gentile Brother, (Or should it be ex-gentile brother?)
Dan